The Time Paradox of the Misadventures of Badger and Friends
by Anonymous Legends
Summary: Every summary would grow short to this story. Just read it. All you need to know: This story features Badger, a great writer. We received some kind of approval... The other characters are either the writers themselves, or a bunch of friends from a skype group. This story is written purely for fun. Enjoy. Rated T for Strong Language and Cactus Bashing.


**Hello people! we bring you this in honor of a fantastic guy and a fantastic writer, let hand a round of applause to the one... the only... HoneyBadgerDC in which this story is centered on! -Hunter**

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The Mistake of the Mysterious Badger Box… of doom… DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Prologue:

"something... something... Badger Box..."

On a small blue planet, in the middle of a rather large system of planets made up of various materials and gases, was a medium sized set of islands known by many as the United Kingdom. This United Kingdom held a fair maiden sworn to a man many units of distance away… a man known only as "Badger" who was held prisoner by an ocean and airfare costs could not be with his far off lover….

But… from this three would rise to his rescue, in a daring attempt to solve a legends greatest battle they would embark on an adventure to a whole new world….

"Quick! push his leg into here"

"I don't think his arm is supposed to look like that!"

"hey guys I got us that Ice Cream you wanted - OH SWEET JARVAN WHAT IS THAT?!"

"NAGHHRRrrrrhrhghrhrhrhr!?"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Use the DuctTape! Fast!"

"Hand me that wrench we gotta knock him back out before he gets loose!"

A few moments later, the man named Badger received a fair blow on his head. His eyes turned away and the kicking stopped abruptly, earning a sigh of relief from the dastardly trio.

"Fold his legs again, it has to fit…"

"Why did we use a 1 by 1ft box again?"

"It was either that or a plastic bag. Either way, he'll be on his way to London before he wakes up again. Quick, put that stamp on the box…"

"Ok good now we just have to get him to the post office."

"Don't you mean, through the Mail Service?"

"Nah, we'll be fine. C`mon, let`s go!"

And so, our debatable heroes set off in search of the nearest American Postal Service. When they finally arrived at the office, the box was moving again. With a few blows on top of it they silenced the box, except for a few soft sounds, that is.

"Wait, We need to do something before he`s good to go, hold on a sec."

Alsodef searched his back, until he finally found what he was looking for.

"Here we go!" He said when he placed the 'Fragile' sticker on the box. 'Now he`s good to go." He said, just before Evan dropped the box on the ground before stretching his arms behind his back.

"Evan! Be more careful… You gotta do it like this" Hunter said as he picked up the box and pouring a larger bottle of honey into it. "See? Much better." Hunter said before kicking the box against a wall. "Be quiet!' he shouted.

"Okay, let`s do this guys. Let`s send Badger to his love." Alsodef proclaimed to the other two.

"Georgia is gonna be so happy guys! maybe she will forget about the cake I owe her… damn you and my bets damn you!" Hunter yelled into the sky out of no where. "uh.. *clears throat* nevermind me… carry on."

A soft bell rung out as the group entered the office. "Hello, how may I help you dearies?" an old lady behind a desk asked.

"WE ARE TOTALLY NOT SHIPPING A LIVING PERSON!-" Alsodef moved his hand to smack Evan and turned to the old lady. "Well, we'd like to have this box shipped to the UK, preferable without being scanned or looked at, if that`s possible and not to expensive?" Alsodef asked earning a smile from the old lady who had seemed to not have noticed Evan`s outburst.

"Sure, sure. Let`s take a look, only 1 by 1 feet? That`s going to be 30 dollars, and 10 extra if you want to keep it safe and out of sight. May I ask you why you want it out of sight?"

"Nope nope nope!" Hunter said sporadically as he punched the box to knock badger back out again.

"Ow, okay. I`m sorry dear, didn't mean to pry…"

Alsodef smiled at her, and placed the box on top of the desk, handing her the fourty bucks for the shipment and an extra 10 for the service. "Thanks a lot for your help. How long till it will arrive at his -I mean its- destination?" He asked. "Ehm, around twenty seconds. We`re talking about Red Bull Speed Service here…" The elderly lady replied with a light chuckle.

"oh… that works! thank you ma'dam for your service have a nice day!" Hunter smiled and waved back at her as they headed out but, not before Evan made another scene "YEAH DON'T LOOK IN THE BOX BADGER IS SLEEPING!-" Both Hunter and Alsodef punched him out before dragging him back to the car.

"what funny kids these days…" The old lady said as she bent over in a dark laugh"... all the more fun to play with hehehe… HEHEHEHE… MUAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!-"

"Oh I almost forgot!" Hunter said merrily as he ran back inside to stick a picture of Georgia inside the box for badger during the trip. "thanks again ma'dam!" Hunter called out a second time as he strode out to the car one more time….

"... where was I? Oh yeah- MUAHAHAHAHAHAAH!" chuckled the old lady again.

The trio returned home to their cozy little apartment after a long days endeavors for Badgers lovelife.

"I bet they're gonna have a great time together at last, we did a good thing today guys!" Hunter called out as he turned on the TV to the groups favorite show: "Oprah vs. Wild"

"Maybe, just maybe, we shouldn't have punched him that often…" Alsodef said, handing them all a beer.

"I should have kicked him in the Badgers more!" Evan said while laughing at the show.

"Cheers to a good day and a good deed!-" They all said in unison just as the front door got broken down by a very angry Badger.

"YOU LITTLE SHITS IM GONNA SKIN YOU ALIVE AND CHOKE YOU TO DEATH WITH YOUR OWN INTESTINES!"

"It was Evan!" Both Alsodef and Hunter shouted, pointing at Evan.

"I'M SORRY I DIDN'T KICK YOU IN THE BADGERS ENOUGH SENPAI!" Evan said now crying for forgiveness.

"YOU'RE ALL GONNA GET IT NOW!-" Badger yelled just as he was about to open a can of woop ass on these sorry fuck ups, a large bang emanated from behind Badger. A larger hole in the wall had opened up to reveal none other than Los Montoya III, here to save Evan from his impending doom.

"STOP RIGHT THERE! No one but me lays a hand on my little brother!" And with that Los punched Badger in the face as hard as he could earning him a grunted "ugh" as Badger toppled over the Honeybadger that Hunter kept as his pet. " NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"That, *ouch* really hurts… Why exactly did you guys stuffed me in that box?" Badger asked, calming down just a little bit, Los casually walked over to Evan and pimp slapped him for being an idiot.

"uh… we- I mean Evan thought it was a good idea to try and ship you to the UK so you can be with Georgia." Hunter said carefully, Los slapped Evan again.

"And, when exactly did you guys feel the the need to bash me, instead of just buying a ticket?"

"oh yeah… we could have just bought plane tickets… But… Uhm..." Alsodef said.

"to be fair we- I mean Evan is really dumb" Hunter said, earning Evan a third slap.

"Ow! Hey you guys are assholes… you were involved too" Evan grumbled.

"No, only you and Hunter were. I was just making sure that I could prove everything to Badger when we would have failed. No, that`s a lie actually. Your girl asked us to do this for her, Badger. Evan however immediately knocked you out and started all of this, so we had to co-operate, sort of…"

"Evan said if I didn't do as he said he'd make me hug a Cactus… ever hug a cactus before? it freaking hurts" Hunter pleaded pointing at Evan and his pet Cactus named Randy Spike, earning Evan two more slaps from Los who now was using the cactus as a weapon now. Badger tired of their shit grabbed the Cactus and slapped Alsodef and Hunter a few times, before hitting Los and Evan. Everything stopped when a loud voice roared from the ceiling: "Stop at once! You`re all being punished for your childish behavior. Now, you're all writers and readers, so I`ll punish you accordingly. Be doomed, Suckaz!" Everything turned black, and simultaneously all of them dropped to the floor, unconscious…

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**A/N 1: Hello wonderful reader peoples here is a Fanfic about a Fanfic writer inside his own Fanfic... crazy idea we know! **("It`s a Fanception!" -Alsodef) **This story and future chapters/stories and such will be a community set up between a small group run by the legendary HoneyBadgerDC, check the profile for the details on this -Hunter**

**A/N 2: So, a new project. This is some weird shit... Let`s see where we can get. Stay with us ^^ -Alsodef**


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